5.24.2016

My Fear of Slowing Down

This weekend was eye-opening for me. That sounds really dramatic, doesn't it? Ha! But I really mean it. I've always been a go, go, go type of person. If my plate isn't full and my to-do list isn't overflowing with tasks, I feel like I'm being unproductive. If I take more than 5 minutes to sit down and just BREATHE I feel like I'm being lazy.

SO NOT TRUE.

I hit my breaking point on Friday night. It was 7PM and I was just getting to my workout after being ridiculously overwhelmed/busy all day. I broke out in tears. I felt overcome by the never-ending tasks that seem to accumulate every single day.

I know that I'm not the busiest person there is, but at this stage in my life my plate is fuller than it ever has been. I'm a full-time student (and to be honest I didn't realize how intense speech classes would be - not to mention how intense summer semester is...so fast paced, y'all), I have 2 jobs (one of which is owning my own business which is a lot in itself), I'm a wife, dog mom, friend, daughter, sister, etc. The list goes on. Blah blah blah. We all have a lot of responsibilities.

But my problem was - I refused to SLOW DOWN. Day in and day out I burnt the candle at both ends, so to speak. I was AFRAID to slow down. Afraid that it would put me behind, delay my progress.

Until I figured out that by not slowing down I was really making everything worse.

I was tired every day, which made getting through my to-do list that much harder. I was grouchy since I had no energy. It just wasn't a good situation.

So this weekend I STOPPED. I got done what I needed to do but refused to look ahead and try to tackle the next day's tasks with the few hours that I had left during the current day. I actually disconnected from my responsibilities at the end of the day (I know it's only been 4 days but hear me out) and let myself decompress. 

I've woken up the last few days ready (and excited!) to take on the day and also excited to CHILL OUT at the end of the day. I'm making a point to SHUT DOWN (as in my busy-ness) at a decent hour each day. And I'm going to do my best to continue doing this. It's really helped me feel more alive, more productive (who would've thought, right?), and just less burnt out.

Do you struggle with slowing down/mentally chilling out at the end of the day? 

xo, Jess


4 comments:

  1. First step is acknowledging (Amen, sister!). Second step is the hardest which is changing the actual behavior (you're 4 days in... WOOOOOP!). I used to always think about what's coming up tomorrow, next week, next month, next year... and it would stress me the eff out! No joke, I'd be rob of the present day b/c I was so focused and stressed about planning for a later day. THEN I had baby... and things got really real. I'm kinda forced to stay in the current moment b/c 1. He's crawling here, there, everywhere, and 2. I do not want to fast forward any part of his young 8-month life other than what's in front of me. Keep going strong and staying as mindful as you can to TODAY... b/c that's all we have promised to us ;)

    xo, Bev

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    1. That's EXACTLY how I was feeling - getting SO stressed out about what I had to do the NEXT day...crazy! I'm happy to report that I've kept my stress at bay this week and have been so much better at staying PRESENT in the moment! So refreshing :) Good to hear from you, girl!

      xo, Jess

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  2. This is me this week. I'm a music teacher. I had a concert with 180 students (and about 600 family members watching), grades due, a year worth of mentoring materials due, a parent night at school, 2 rehearsals and- oh yeah, my own family. (4 baseball games, 1 major project due, life in general, etc.) My friend jokingly gave me a plastic medal at the end of the day yesterday, which I proudly wore since I totally earned it this week. I cannot wait to just spend some relaxing time with my family (and catching up with some penpals) without any guilt. Balance is a huge thing to learn. I am just starting to understand the benefit of taking some time for myself to reboot.

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    1. Wow, your plate IS full! Crazy how when you type everything on your plate out it seems like A TON but somehow we manage to get it all done! Wear that medal proud, girl :) And enjoy some time rebooting - I am trying my best to do the same! xo, Jess

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